28 things everyone that lives in Penrith knows

 

1. Always avoid Mulgoa Rd at all costs.

2. Nowhere will ever be as good as The Log Cabin.

3. For those who use the M4 your entire morning can be thrown into chaos by a single car accident. What should take 1 hour can take up to 3 and with the return of the tolls we are soon going to be charged for the pleasure (once again).

4. One gazebo at Nepean River does not suffice a whole community. I pity the poor dad waking up at 5.30am to “reserve” the only covered gazebo area for his child’s first birthday party. I also pity the other poor dad that didn’t get there until 7am.

5. The three bin fortnightly collection system absolutely sucks.

6. Once you cross the bridge on The Great River Walk there is no going back and If you don’t see at least one person you know during the walk you are not a local.

7. If you take the bottom footpath you increase your chances of seeing a snake.

8. No one has ever touched the bottom of Bents Basin. Nortons Basin is for the real locals.

9. The Penrith Panther exists. It escaped from Notre Dame or The African Lion Safari years ago and roams free at the foot of The Blue Mountains. We all have a friend of a friend of a friend who has seen it.

10. That same friend will take you to Sarah’s Grave.

11. The Range Rover Evoque is the new Holden Commodore.

12. A “Man Cave” is a standard feature in most homes, it may have previously been known as “The Garage”.

13. Westfield will always be “The Plaza”.

14. We’re not short on Burger Bars but all hail the person who finally rolls into town with a real small bar.

15. Two Bunnings stores and one Masters store was never going to work.

16. You should want to have a greener lawn than your neighbor that you continually water, mow and weed and feed.

17. The only way to “cool our city” would be to move it.

18. You can catch the fish in Nepean River but don’t eat the fish you catch in Nepean River.

19. We have bloody brilliant breakfast and coffee if you know where to go.

20. If you are male you have two names. One your mates call you and one your mother calls you.

21. A home renovation is not complete until you render the brickwork.

22. If you want a parking spot and a seat on the train use Emu Plains Train Station.

23. If you don’t own a boat or a swimming pool you make friends with someone who owns a boat or a swimming pool.

24. We like the beach but we hate the sand, especially in our beds. We can get to the closest beach in an hour. It also costs us a fortune to get there (those tolls again).

25. People very rarely give way to reversing cars in Southlands car park.

26. We have more to do than most places we go on holidays to. Whitewater Rafting, Cables Wake Park, Jet Packs, Fishing Tours, The Nepean Belle Paddlewheeler, Sedgways, Indoor Skydiving, Outdoor Skydiving, Aqua Golf (Panthers members get 2 for 1 vouchers from reception), Mini Golf, Shooting Range, Canoe Hire, Jetflight Simulator, Flip Out, Iceskating just to name a few.

27. The shop a dockets at Coles and Woolworths will get you cheap meals at The Pioneer Tavern and Jamison Hotel.

28. City Beach will never be Cavalier.

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